security

So perlmonger fitted the new security beam things yesterday, and then when I was in the bath I heard the warning chime go. I called him and got no reply, so I assumed it was him.

But when I went downstairs, they’d taken the laptops and the Wii and the remotes and the cameras and all the DVDs, I ran down the end of the garden and saw one of them running through the field, so I photographed her.

Then I went to find the village bobby* at Angela’s house – they’ve moved to the other side of the road. They had no glass in their front door, and were having some sort of lunch party with the guests sat on rows of chairs like a lecture. David took me into the kitchen and told me not to make a fuss, and that the insurance would pay. The policewoman wasn’t there.

* That’s a giveaway, isn’t it?

11 thoughts on “security”

  1. Wow – at the end of the second paragraph I was thinking – ‘Christ, that’s terrible luck, especially given how much it had been on her mind recently’.

    You had me going for a moment!

    And * – absolutely. Aren’t they all online these days trying to entrap the file-sharing terrorist kiddie-fiddling masses that this country is apparently /rife/ with? That, or changing the film in the local speed cameras?

    1. One cottage under CCTV.

      Apparently all the “kiddie fidders” are currently on holiday in Thailand having photographs of themselves taken. Next year’s content needs to be generated you know.

      Awful dream BTW. I have a single Axis webcam borrowed from as a means of checking in on Bella’s epilepsy while I am out, it works so well I want to get more cameras throughout the house and it would be very useful should circumstances like your dream actually happen.

      1. Re: One cottage under CCTV.

        We have six Axis cameras here, pointing at various cat resting spots. But that’s no use for downstairs – we’d have to monitor it all the time. I *am* thinking about putting a camera up outside though, just to deter people.

        The security beam things are real – cycled over to Maplins last night and picked them up, just got to fit them this morning.

    2. Well, I’ve been worried about it, as you know – and I’m not sure what the insurance would say if the door was open, even though we never leave it open if we’re not here. I shall feel a deal happier when the beams are put up this morning.

  4. Crappy dream. I would be a bit cautious about those light beam things, they can be set off by birds, cats, etc., you may not notice if they go off too often. Some sort of visible deterrent such as a camera is probably a better bet.

    1. The beams are *inside* the house, so will only go off when someone crosses the threshold. And are about 4ft off the ground. They just give a little chime if someone goes through it.

      I think I will get a camera soon, though, when cashflow permits. [insert rant about clients here]

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